Fearful Pursuits

 “Do one thing every day that scares you.” ― Eleanor Roosevelt

 

     When she was a young girl, Anna Eleanor Roosevelt was neither considered to be very pretty or very bright.  Ignored by her rich and powerful father and disregarded by her beautiful mother, "Ellie" as she was called, was just not expected to amount to much.  As we know now, she went on to become one of the greatest first ladies of the United States.

 

     Eleanor Roosevelt's difficulty was later identified as dyslexia.  For those of us with dyslexia, life is often lived in a series of dissonant dances where success often comes by a simple refusal to stop moving forward.  Sometimes that is scary enough. 

 

     Progress is not a smooth transition from one task or event to another.  Rather it can be an exciting, unpredictable, but dizzy whirl when things go well.  When things go badly,  my progress may more closely resemble a stumbling stagger across the floor.  Even my success gets measured differently.  I usually do not place much emphasis on items checked off on a list.  (I do use them though!)  Instead, a successful week for me is when I do something which unsettles me and shakes me out of my routine every day, forcing me out of my comfort zone.  A bad week is when I wrap myself warmly in my insecurities, ignoring the outside world as much as I can.  Some weeks, like some days, are better, and go better, than others.

Dancing the Journey

A few weeks ago, I was described as an extremely dissonant person.  The describer referred to my many interests and hobbies.  She remarked that simply trying to list them all would exhaust her.  Never having heard the word before, I sort of liked the sound of it.  It seemed rather melodic. 

When I looked it up after getting home, since I had no idea of what it meant, I found this definition:  a harsh, uncivil, disagreeable,  or cruel person;  lacking order or methodical arrangement or function; chaotic. “  I still like the sound of the word.  (I am not so sure of the person who decided it was necessary to share her opinion with me.)

I thought about her opinion a bit and decided that organization is all well and good.  It is something that we all need, otherwise we would have mountains of stuff heaped around us, threatening to bury us in an avalanche of treasures at a moment’s notice.  However, is it necessary for everything?  I sort of like my disorganized group of interests.  It really doesn’t matter to me if it seems weird for me to be interested in both knitting and statistics or working with my German Shepherd and the science of Linguistics.  If it doesn’t bother me, it shouldn’t bother anyone else.

I have heard many quotes referring to life as a journey.  Well, I guess my journey through life will be a slightly disorganized one at the best of times.  Since I will be making tracks through life, I’d rather dance.  I think Annette Funicello said it best, “Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful.”